A Good Day

Wind was at it again today. They keep on saying a storm is coming. I hope it's over before Saturday. Great ride today. Felt really good. 33/17.7


A Year Ago Today My Mom Died.

I miss both my parents very much, but am so grateful to them for what they gave me. Below is my experience the day my mom died. I wrote it that night.


I wanted to write down some of my thoughts and experiences from today April 29, 2009, the day my mom died.

I was at the Ramsey County courthouse doing my research work, when I got a call from mom’s next door neighbor Jeanne Cummings. Jeanne said, there was a police car and ambulance outside of mom’s house. I was in my truck and heading home (mom’s house) in no more than two minutes. As I drove I thought I hope I can get there before they take her to the hospital, so I can tell her everything will be ok, and that I will be there to take care of her. My phone rang. It was Bishop Hicken. Jeanne Cummings had called him, and told him what she had told me. Bishop Hicken told me that he had called Gabrielle, and she had given him my phone number. I was driving by the airport as I was talking to him. I’d wished Gabrielle hadn’t been told. I called her immediately and she was sobbing. I told her I was on my way, that I would take care of everything, that I was about 10 minutes from grandma’s house. She wasn’t at mom’s house yet.
I came up Cornelia Dr., by the elementary school, and could already see the flashing lights of emergency vehicles, there were 3 or 4 police cars, an ambulance and a large fire truck. Things got heavier in my stomach. As I crossed the 70th street intersection I could see people on the front lawn. Two of them were my daughters, holding each other and Jeanne Cummings with her arms around both of them.
All I could think about were my daughters, I got out of my truck and ran to them, and an embrace that I will never forget followed. I comforted hugged, kissed, and they did the same for me.
The police were very respectful, but wanted to talk to me. Before they could say anything I said, “I’m her son can I see her?” They said no. I knew this was not a good sign. I was asked questions, and was told what had transpired.
They had received a 911 call at about 10am. Mom complained of chest pains, I don’t think she was even able to give them an address. She began to mumble and they weren’t able to get any more communication from her over the phone.
The paramedics arrived and no one answered the door. They went around the house looking in the windows, and saw mom lying on the floor by the study door. They broke down the back door, got to her and immediately proceeded to do CPR. She was not conscious at any time that the EMT’s were there.
“They are still working on her”. I said, thank you, and turned my attention back to my daughters. We hugged. Britty left to go get Elijah.
The police came to me a second time and said, “we’re still working on her, and have been in touch with the emergency room Dr. at the hospital”. I interrupted and asked, “is she dead”? I was told yes. “Can I see her?” “We need you to wait, until we clean things up a little”.
Gabrielle and I hugged. Britney had been sobbing uncontrollably, but was now on her way to get Elijah. I called her and told her that Grandma was dead. It was almost a scream I heard in response. She dropped off Elijah and came back to be with me and Gabrielle.
I moved away from the front of the house to get some privacy and called Marlene in Egypt. There have been some very hard things I’ve had to do in my life; this is high on that list. How do you tell someone their mom is dead, especially when it’s your mom and you are telling your sister? I was shaking. “Mom died of a heart attack this morning”. I had to repeat it a couple of times. Then I simply said, “She’s dead”. The sorrow was overwhelming, and we both cried. It was impossible to understand what Marlene was saying through the sobs and tears. I told her what I knew, about what had happened and that I loved her.
I called Rob and then Dave next, explaining to them what had happened. Then I called Ethan. He wanted to come, but had the kids, which just wouldn’t have worked, so we kept in touch by phone.
Rob and Josh came over in about 30 minutes.
We were able to see mom. They had moved her into the living room so they had more room to work. Her cane and one slipper remained in the hallway, were she had collapsed. When I saw her she was lying on her back, her arms at her side, and she was close to her piano. Her feet were facing the hallway. She was covered by a white sheet, with her face showing. She had a calm peaceful look.
The conversations started to turn towards, what needed to be done. Her body needed to be turned over to the funeral home. We looked for mom’s written wishes which were to be in the study, but couldn’t find them. Rob and I had to start making decisions. After we decided which home we’d use, it took a little more than an hour for them to come and get her body. A police man had to be with the body until it was “transferred” to the funeral home.
Rob, Josh, Britney, Gabrielle and I all sat in the study and talked while we waited, the police man standing at the front door entrance. The mood started to lighten as we talked, and spoke of how it all happened. It became obvious that mom’s suffering only covered a short period of time, before she fell unconscious. It appeared she had made herself some breakfast, and had put those dishes in the sink. It seems that it all happened very quickly.

I left the house about 4PM, came home and went out for a bike ride. It was raining and I was crying.

Tom